I'm not ready to make nice

A million thanks to one of my best buddies, Natul for recommending me this beautiful and deep song sung by Dixie Chicks =)

It's new year eve and I bet people are busy out there getting ready to go out and celebrate with their friends, families and not forgetting the love birds who I believe will be spending their precious time together. I envy them actually. Apart from that, home-made parties, BBQs, pool parties etc I bet will be taking place any time now. I wish I had something planned up for me today. For instance, hair treatment appointment or BBQ stuffs shopping or even getting ready to go out and celebrate. I'm all "plan-less" today. I wish I could describe the boredom that engulfs my entire being. There is definitely pointless living in this world despite of your relentless fortune or wealth yet no friends to talk to or no one to go out with. Vice-versa despite you have millions of friends yet they do not have time for you, only you standing alone all on your own. That sucks, isn't it? Others are happy with their lives. They have other commitments and they accidentally diss you. Reason? "I have a life now and I got stuffs to do". Typical human being. Others are enjoying every minute of their life while you are alone, foolish with an empty soul. EMPTY!

At times, I wish that I could be like Adam Sandler in Click so I can go anywhere, anytime with who ever I want. So I won't lead this empty life of mine pathetically. Sometimes, it hurts. Often, it hurts more. I'm mad at myself. Mad at myself for being so silly. I suck at making good decision. I'm tired. I'm really tired of waiting and anticipating for what the fate holds for me. I want to be with my friends but I'm not sure I could. Things are different now. I want to be with him. But it's too late to make it right. They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting.

=( =( =(

2009, I welcome you

N++

It's nearly the end of 2008. Time flies very quick without you even realized. The year 2008 had taught me a lot of memorable experiences. Both good and bad and you'll finally learnt to lead this life on your own. No matter what happens, we always have a choice. A choice to improve to be better, to find the desired solution for all your problems, to improve others that they're wrong all this while, to confess before it's too late, to admit before feeling sorry the rest of your life and many others. Well like Chuck from Sum41 once said, and I quote,"I try to be perfect but nothing was worth it," is it necessary to be perfect? Or at least act like one. I just don't feel the need to be perfect because to me being perfect just to impress others won't last long and it's going to be worthless. You do what you heart says and enjoy what you do. That's what really matters. I don't know why I'm being so emotional tonight perhaps, a lot of unwanted happenings happened to me this year. Maybe I wasn't ready for it or maybe I did, it doesn't matter really. Then, you will definitely know which of them is your truly friend. Letting go of the person you once loved and confided is not the most painful thing ever happen, it is therefore when the one you love, love another person that's the most excruciating part of all. They hit where it hurt and they fool you so bad. But that's how you learnt how to succeed in life. You definitely will not repeat the same mistake but you will somehow create new ones so you can screw up things better for others in the future. It's somehting that we called Karma. Finally, you will achieve you triumph over someone who had hurt you so bad or something like that.

I think that happened to me this year and I really am sorry for what happened to him that had changed my entire life. I think it's already too late to turn back time and it's just our circle of life that have been destined for us and we shall not interrupt it or obnoxious things may happen to you. Life is wonderful in any way. Sometime the bad thing can turn th existing into something really good. I turned him down several times though he was deeply into me. It was very mean of me. We moved on. It's not WHAT changed us. It's how we have changed due to this "catastrophic" event. And I wish your happiness with your loved one.

"Forgive and forget is the most noble thing to do amongst humans."

And yes, I miss you. You know I always have, MJJ.

Thanks for reading my blog peeps. Love you!! =)

-you know you loved me-

*A7X Enthusiast* (always did and always will)

Happy 20th Birthday Babe

I would like to wish my babe, C a very 20th happy birthday on the 28/12/08. We hope you had a fabulous time at the Excapade's with very awesome people coming. Kekeke well I know you did it was illustrated all over your face masa surprise tadi. Keke we had various ideas plang cemana kan surprise tau-tau last minute planning plang tu tadi ada kah minta modes hahaha tapi menjadi jua a billion thanks to my brilliant dude for bringing up the starter of the idea minta dangani ke jamban hahaha part ku minta modes hahaha. Sekali time kami dua were off to the "toilet" kami bagitau lah the staff to bring in the cake so udah kami settle down and back to our seats, the staff bawa the cake and nyanyi lagu happy birthday. Satu restaurent atu nyanyi and it was damn happening lah and I could see the birthday boy was extremely flabbergasted. Kekeke I'm happy for you too. I know you love me and I love you too =) Wel I hope you like the gift I got you though nda plang brapa happening tapi jaditah hehehe baik ko pakai!!! Pusing2 ku cari tu giftmu ah. Bah birthday ku jangan lupa 3 months to go tu. I want hmm I want hahahaha aku mau cake ada gambar ku ah lawa2 sama gambar c Edward Cullen gagaga udah atu. I'm watching Epic Movie right now cos it's playing on HBO panat banar ceta nya. Hehehe so I'm looking forward for another outing macam this evening. New year perhaps?

Disturbed Christmas

Hello peeps. It's 6.08 p.m. on XMas Day. Here I am staying at Park City Everly Hotel in room 734 the executive section. and OMG!! I'm at the internet station currently sekali ada this like a group of sorority Bruneian chicks being bitchy throughout the time *sick*sick*sick*!! Damn you, you damning damn!! harharhar mental pisinnya. Tadi i went off shopping but macam sikit jua barang yang I bali atu. Cemana ni? Kekeke payah jua banyak duit ani eh hahaha tah karang.. Amin..It's a bit chilling down here since it'd been raining relentlessly dari pagi. C, you remember Manila?? Wawawa time di library ah! kekeke bah I;m off dulu kan rehat. See you!!

Idyllic Night

It's 1.13 am in the morning and I can hardly sleep. Thinking too much I guess. Oh well got a lot to update. Kekeke last weekend 20/12/08 I went to sleepover at Marriot's in Miri our usual urgent vacation. It was rather typical yet soothing. Haha what am I saying? As usual, it didn't feel like you're in Miri plg cos a lot of Bruneians pun stay over and spent their dimes rah other countries instead of theri native countries. These people can also be called as "A minute expatriate" hahaha ada2 saja ntah why I'm into giving terms lately. I did a little shopping over there and suprisingly arah mall nya kan ntah ah mcm nada yg memikat hati. The dresses were awesome but ntah nada chemistry between us (wawawa ada lagi tu). So, anyway just for the record I bought this awesome A7X jacket mcm happy to the max lah tu hahaha melampau jua eh. Just to add into my personal collection aja bah since I'm into A7X so much (sasak ko C?) har har har...And tomorrow I'll be going down to Miri again to settle some unfinished things. Aiseh mcm serious+paranormal bunyinya wawawa. So my dude is turning 20 soon.. What shall I get for him? Since he's so young, ngantit, bitchy, slutty, whorey (eh adakah?) hahaha well till you get my pressie it's a supriseeeeee hahhaa bida jua eh nda jua suprise tu nanti.

Okie peeps I think I should probably turn myself in now. See you soon!

-you know you loved me-

XOXO

*A7X Enthusiast*

True Blood

Just wanna share with you people that for those vampire stories lovers true blood is one great series that you might wanna consider. I've watched it and I fell in love with it. Apart from its creativity, the story line can create intrigue-ness. hahaha ada such word ka?? tapi shok lah i like the story mcm twilight jua ganya ani adult content. Kekeke wjnhjhfkkjsaf shfjnsmfnkuiafd safiasjfmnsfjkanfdjafna ok?? =)

Rebirth

wawawawa hello everybody! adakah rebirth? Based on many requests, I've decided to apportion 1/3 of my day to be spent on blogging. So here I am back!! Kekeke my 4 assignments are under construction so brain storming berabis lah. It's 6.52 pm and I have one hour plus to get ready kan have dinner di simpur. Si christy pemajal ah wawawa hai christ!! Uh there's alot to be done. Singan mana ah ku stop? har har har..

So, on 7th December I bought my dream Nikon D90 at HuaHo Mall Manggis ngam2 that time ada Camera Expo lah so u can either get cheaper price or special promotion with free packages. I'm delighted of course. Kekeke so there an addition to my hobby which is photography =)

I've spent my days buat apa nah... Bangun pagi gosok gigi kekeke petang2 joging or buat outdoor activities lah. During the night haha bitching sama my dude si Christy, hai Christ!! Btw i wanna say to Natul!! keke receive ur text rah msn tadi suruh update so aku update. Can't wait to watch Twilight this thursday InsyaAllah. Bah till we meet again. I'll update soooon. kan mandi babes and dudes!!

... Jingle bell jingle bell jingle rocksss...~~~~~

TWILIGHT premieres 18th December 2008 in Brunei

TWILIGHT is an action-packed, modern-day love story between a vampire and a human. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) has always been a little bit different, never caring about fitting in with the trendy girls at her Phoenix high school. When her mother remarries and sends Bella to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she doesn’t expect much of anything to change. Then she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a boy unlike any she’s ever met. Intelligent and witty, he sees straight into her soul. Soon, Bella and Edward are swept up in a passionate and decidedly unorthodox romance. Edward can run faster than a mountain lion, he can stop a moving car with his bare hands — and he hasn’t aged since 1918. Like all vampires, he’s immortal. But he doesn’t have fangs, and he doesn’t drink human blood; Edward and his family are unique among vampires in their lifestyle choice. To Edward, Bella is that thing he has waited 90 years for — a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy. But what will Edward and Bella do when James (Cam Gigandet), Laurent (Edi Gathegi) and Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre), the Cullens’ mortal vampire enemies, come to town, looking for her?

p/s: I'm looking forward to watch this movie.